All my life I have been a “yoyo dieter.” I must have lost 1000 lbs in my life.

In 2003 I went on a Mediterranean Cruise. It was the trip of a lifetime! We went early to see a show in New York on the way and spent a few days in Rome and Florence before the cruise started.

As much as I had dreamed of such a trip, my joy was dampened because I weighed 212 lbs and my feet hurt every time I tried to take a step. We even skipped the Coliseum in Rome because I knew that my feet just couldn’t handle it.

When I returned to the United States I decided to visit my niece who lived in Boston and had 2 children that I had never met.

When they met me at the train, those kids must have thought that a clown had come to visit! Not only was I a big woman, but I was wearing bright turquoise blue pants with a white and turquoise striped top. It didn’t really go with the muted sophisticated New England fashions.

We were off to see the sights of Boston; I was carrying my nephew when I fell down the stairs, baby in arms! I was so ashamed and so worried. I was only 42, way to young to feel like such an old woman. I thought I was in the last stages of my life.

When I returned home to California, I vowed to change. I knew that someday I would have grand children and I wanted to be able to roll around on the floor with them and live to see them grow old and give me great grand children.

I was tempted to do gastric bypass, but they said I weighed 20 pounds to little.

I enrolled in The HMR Diet at San Joaquin Hospital, hired a personal trainer and lost 80 lbs! I was feeling great. I managed to maintain my weight loss for 2 years. I rewarded myself with a tummy tuck and a boob lift.

After a while, my trainer got a job as a fireman. I tried a few others but no one clicked. Quickly I saw 10-15 lbs start popping back up. I felt discouraged. I didn't ever want to go back to where I was! I wanted to beat the statistics and be one of the ones who looses weight and keeps it off, but I was scared. I was scared of disappointing my husband and my family, and myself!

Although I had been in Phase 2 for a while, I decided to grab control, and returned to phase 1. I found a new trainer, and started doing yoga. I finally feel like things are back in control. I am back into my "skinny" clothes, and am less than 5 pounds from my lowest weight. For the first time in my life, I got control before I gained ALL the weight back, and am living a happier healthier lifestyle.

One of the best things I learned in HMR is that maintenance is not a straight line. Even thin people have ups and downs in their weight. I don't have to beat myself up when I gain a few pounds, I just need to buckle down and get control my eating instead of letting it control me.

I now have 6 beautiful grand children, and I roll around on the floor with them. I want to be able to keep doing this. They are the joys of my life, and I have another grandchild on the way.